tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13199716.post4516970057491881826..comments2023-09-26T03:09:18.854-05:00Comments on Reflections: Youth Pastors in a Negative Lightlilkuphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16468435228263972862noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13199716.post-62089331047794034972011-10-31T17:38:01.864-05:002011-10-31T17:38:01.864-05:00One. I don't talk to a girl alone in my office...One. I don't talk to a girl alone in my office or house. Even if she shows up and it's a pressing issue. I tell her straight up that it doesn't look good for a guy to be talking alone with a girl. Then I ask if she can call me or come back later. Most girls are understanding. They are growing up watching the Dateline shows and know. Those that aren't...sadly aren't.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13199716.post-1108747361631361542008-11-25T14:46:00.000-06:002008-11-25T14:46:00.000-06:00Do not be naive. We live in a culture of hyper-su...Do not be naive. We live in a culture of hyper-suspicion when it comes to youth workers. You have seen Dateline, right?<BR/>I would NEVER be alone with a student in my house any reason whatsoever! I would never meet one-on-one with a student unless it was in a public place, or scheduled in my office (with a window) while the secretary was still in.<BR/>I have seen what happens to a church, a youth pastor and a community when even a flimsy false accusation is made... and it is terrible. Never put yourself in a situation like that!<BR/>Take every precaution, and trust that God will bless your ministry despite what seems like a lack of accessability.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13199716.post-45895369389418088822008-11-20T00:02:00.000-06:002008-11-20T00:02:00.000-06:00i get the intentionality to why we need to have ru...i get the intentionality to why we need to have rules. <BR/><BR/>but sometimes if we have these strict rules it makes the situation really awkward. <BR/><BR/>for example, a female student stops by my office right after school and she wants to talk about the drama that happen that day. well no one is around and it is just me and her. do i make some lame excuse or do i make the conversation short and sweet?<BR/><BR/>I have tried both ways and I have found if i make some lame excuse she doesn't really understand. <BR/> <BR/>bottom line this situation is not as black and white as we think it is. there is going to be gray.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13199716.post-13534866488499711942008-11-19T06:19:00.000-06:002008-11-19T06:19:00.000-06:00I have worked closely with youth in a variety of s...I have worked closely with youth in a variety of settings (camp, church, hospitals) and have set up a similar accountability guidelines.<BR/><BR/>However, with the problems that have emerged within the Catholic Clergy I have set it up for both genders. Unfortunately, in today's society having the policy for just the opposite sex may not be enough.Shawn Davishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16741326922646568436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13199716.post-41628148387728072622008-11-17T14:10:00.000-06:002008-11-17T14:10:00.000-06:00I am a female youth minister and I have similar po...I am a female youth minister and I have similar policies (flip the gender) for myself. <BR/><BR/>The funny thing is everytime I express these to leadership and parents (especially when my middle school group is a bunch of boys and usually one girl) they ask why I worry about it and say they trust me. <BR/><BR/>I wonder -- do women *need* to worry abou this as much as men? I think women should be held accountable in the same way (how many older women teachers have gone to jail for seducing boys in their classes?!).<BR/><BR/>I trust myself, i'm happily married and not at all tempted, but I've had boys in youth ministry that have had crushes on me because I actually listened to them and I *really* don't want to give them the wrong impression.Leenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11864203426666711126noreply@blogger.com