frustration and God

I don't really know how much more I can say about how difficult it is to be in the same area as the church we left. It's not just being in the area, but hearing about things going on. All the while, knowing more than anyone what happened behind the scenes. This knowledge makes it hard to feel the way we do and have people wonder why we feel this way.

All I can say right now is "blah"

I just feel defeated, feel like its not fair, feel like I've been forgotten.

Are these things true, no. But it can become an easy thing to feel.

Yet, all the while, I know God is still there - still taking care of us. I know He has a plan for us, I know He is teaching me something in this. I know He has taught others lessons by watching us go through this.

(It would just be nice to not be in the middle of it)

What a pair...

Amy and Nathan on porch
Originally uploaded by lilkup.

A pic of 2 of the 3 people I look forward to seeing everyday.

God peaks around the corner...

It feels like God peaked out a little bit last week. He did not show us everything, just a little (thus the peaking). We heard back from the church in OH on Thursday. We did not hear what we wanted (ie. we did not get the position), but we did hear from God. We felt different about this opportunity - had felt it might be the one.

I was told that it came down to me and one other person. The biggest and final factor was that this other candidate was a "Timothy" from the church. And they had decided a few years ago to try to hire Timothys when they had a chance. So that does not bother me. I was told the elders tried to figure out how to hire both of us, but could not find the extra money. It was a good conversation and we know the doors are not completely closed. There is a possiblity that if something changes and they can hire another staff and we don't have another job lined up, they could contact us.

For me it was not a typical "no" conversation. And I actually felt a little encouraged afterward. Obviously, we don't know where we are going and we feel a little "lost, unsure..."

God has already showed us that we are not forgotten. Yesterday I got a call from a friend who passed on another job opening he found out about during a leadership conference this past week. God knows what is going on and He knows the big picture, and little by little He shows us a little bit more.

Thanks for the prayers.

If you know of any openings, I would welcome them. And if you happen to have any extra money to send to the church in Oh or to us, don't hesitate :)

more time to discuss

The church in OH has told us they need more time to discuss the job. So, now we are still waiting to find out or not. We hope to let you know by next week what the answer is. Please continue to pray for the elders and us and the decision. Thanks

another deadline

Tonight the church in OH has a meeting (well the elders do) about the youth minister. So, our waiting to hear about whether or not we will continue the process could be nearing an end. If you read this tonight (Tuesday), please say a prayer about the decision and us. Thanks

Lessons...

It has been almost 7 months since I found out I needed to start looking for a new ministry. I've worked 3 months of that at the church, had 2 months to stay at home and am going on my 2nd month of working two part time jobs. Over these months I have been learning a lot about myself and my God. I wish I had the time now to share what I've learned, but I have to get up tomorrow at 3am.

I wanted to update and let those who read this (if any) that I should hear this week about the church I went to interview with last week. We would love to be able to work at this church, but we are trusting God's guidance and know He will take us to the right place (whether here or somewhere else).

silent no more

to anyone who has been waiting for some updates...

It has been a while since I have updated. This is mostly due to the fact that I feel like I am busier than ever. I am still employed by Target and my dentist friend. I usually work between 40 and 45 hours a week (some weeks more) - not too much more than when I was in ministry. Yet, it feels very different. Either 3 or 4 days a week I get to wake up at 3am and will work from 4 til 5pm (1/2 at each job). So I am usually pretty tired at the end of the day.

Some news on the ministry front, thankfully. This weekend we are going to a church for an interview. It will be a long weekend, but it will be well worth it. We are excited about the opportunity that this congregation brings. The position is for ms/hs and young adults. Please be praying for our trip and the interview.

We are praying that if this is it, both sides will have a peace about the decision.

(I hope the next post will be sooner than 1 month :))

two jobs

Well, it happened last week (Thursday to be exact). I now have two part time jobs. Though it will in no way be close to what we were used to income wise - it is a huge blessing.

The first job came out of nowhere. A friend offered my a shortterm job at her office (she's a dentist) as a way to help us out. She didn't have to do it and I didn't ask. So it was great to have that happen. God providing.

The second job I did apply for. Ah, now I am a proud member of the Target family :) I start work tomorrow morning at 5am (I never got up that early for a youth event!) It will be a very tiring job, but I think I will enjoy it. I mean, come on, I get to be in the store before it even opens :)

I pray these two jobs don't last forever, but I am very thankful for them.

Lately, both my wife and I have really been desiring to get back involved with a church family. We miss the interaction and fellowship and long to get back into ministry.

(stay tuned for more updates on God's faithfulness during our transition)

Pick of the week

Wes sucking his finger
Originally uploaded by lilkup.

Here is a picture of my little guy. He has since forgotten how to suck his finger and relies on us to help him. But at a month and a half, what else can you expect?

Ramen Noodles and God

Well, today marks the end of the first week without my severence. It has begun to be more and more real that we are not going to be able to live within the same means we did a month ago. We have been not looking forward to this, but we know God is still in control.

God has shown Himself in a number of ways over the last few days. I wish that I could explain better than I am about to just how awesome and amazing God is. Allow me to try to share some of the amazing things God has done:

1. we are continually amazed at the generousity of others. We have recieved a number of checks or cash from people who wanted to help us out (and they have).

2. A friend of ours went and bought us some groceries. Well, I should say a lot of groceries. When they told us they wanted to buy us some groceries, we expected a bag full. What we got was 6 bags of groceries (including one full of meat). Wow, how amazing to have friends basically buy us almost a month's worth of groceries.

3. A family member gave us a gift card for a grocery store. So we were able to buy even more of the stuff we need.

4. The biggest help came in the form of an unexpected visit from some friends that we hadn't seen in a while. Through a series of events, including an email from a friend asking for prayer for us, these friends heard that we were still in the area and had not found a new ministry yet. They prayed about our situation and felt led to give us some money to help with our move (backed by a reassurance because they heard we had to get some brake work done on my car) or with our stay in town. Well, they wrote us a check from almost 2 months worth of my salary. I can't tell you how much I was humbled and touched. I think I cried for about 10 minutes, just being thankful to God for all He has done.

There is more that I could write about, but there are the biggest. God listens to prayer. God provides. God is faithful

Never forget why you work in ministry. Never forget the God you serve.

God's providing

Well, today was a huge day for me. No, it wasn't because I started a new ministry. No, it wasn't because I was offered a new ministry. In fact it had nothing to do with ministry.

Yesterday, during a call with some friends something (from God) about a job came up. This particular friend of ours has her own dental practice. She was looking about needing to fill a certain position and asked if I would be interested in working there until I found something. Now, I won't be making near as much as I would in a ministry. but it is a good bit more than I would be making without it.

God has opened this door to help sustain us through some difficult time. This job will cover less than half of what our current budget is per month. But what a blessing it is to have it at all!

Today I also got some encouragement in the form of an email. What makes this email so special is that it came from a sr. minister at a church in which I had applied for and did not get the job. He was thinking about me and the situation I am in and had been praying for me and wanted to see how things were going. What an encouragement to hear those thoughts/prayers from someone who could have easily thrown my information in the trash and forgotten about me.

the boys on the floor

the boys on the floor, originally uploaded by lilkup.

A fun picture of my two little guys. This is the reason I love to be able to stay home all the time (them and my wife :))

Nathan loves his little brother. Wes doesn't really know what is going on :)

I love spending time with them.

The end of the search...

well, the first phase. I just got a letter from the last church from the first phase of searching. They are going to be going with someone else.

I really don't know what to say. I have so many emotions running through my head.

I do know that we are trusting God to provide and even with my severence coming to an end, I know He is providing. All I can ask for is continued prayer. I have struggled with the fear that maybe something won't come up. Am I still supposed to be a ym? (it has only been 4 years).

Thanks for the prayers.

ps. if you know of any churches looking, please if you could pass it on :)

trust and the job front

Still nothing on the job front. Well, I can't say nothing. I am waiting to hear from one church (after I visited and interviewed a couple weeks ago). And I just heard back from another church. Not sure how I feel about their reasoning for not moving forward with me, but hey I don't agree with the reasoning of those that let me go of my last job.

There are a few other opportunities out there and plenty of God taking care of my family. I know, based on how things have gone so far this Sabbatical, that God is here with me through this entire situation.

I just wish I could say there was a new job lined up. But then again, that is my timeframe :)

It is weird that with being home, I don't feel like doing a lot of typing or writing. I miss parts of work and then again I am really able to enjoy this time at home with my family (not going to get this opportunity again until I retire).

If you have been praying for the job hunt - thanks!

one fear I have - when I do go back to work, will it take me a long time to get back in the swing of things? Or will my passion and desire for ministry kick in again (not that it's gone now)?

Nathan the Elephant

Nathan the Elephant
Originally uploaded by lilkup.

Here is a picture of my oldest (wow, that's the first time writing that - since my youngest is just over a week old now) son on Halloween. He was the cutest elephant on the block. It was fun going around with him. I can't wait to do it every year (said tongue in cheek).

Proud new daddy Pic

Proud new daddy
Originally uploaded by lilkup.

Here is a picture of me with my new little son, Wes. He's the one in the blanket. :)

Going Trick or Treating again

How fun it was to go trick or treating with my son for the first time. He looked so cute in his elephant costume.

What the chuch can learn from Halloween...

I will probably expand on this later, but I wanted to get some thoughts in before I went to bed.

Tonight I went trick-or-treating with my oldest son (18 months) and a few friends. We didn't go to too many houses and we didn't stay out more than 30 minutes. I did make some conclusions on what I think the Church can learn (or be reminded of) during Halloween.

1. A lot of "little things" can add up to a lot
2. Most people walk around with "masks" on every day
3. We should be welcoming of our neighbors
4. If it involves candy/food, then people will show up :) (this is more for the youth workers)

just a few thoughts...

Proud new papa

What a day (or was it two). Yesterday morning my wife and I went to the hospital to have our second child. She was induced and things were moving smoothly, until she hit the 1/2way mark. Then she didn't go any farther. So after 16 hours of contractions and not seeing any progress the last 5 or 6 hours, we went in to have a c-section.

The good news is that our little boy (Wesley) was born this morning at 1:14 am. The bad news is that I don't have a picture to share b/c I left the camera at the hospital. Thankfully, everyone is doing great. Still trying to recover and rest, but overall doing great.

It is a huge praise that Wes is here. Throughout the labor nothing went the way we had planned. But (because God knows that is better) everything went well and turned out the best.

many many many pictures to come :) (oh, I am so proud to be a dad of two)

Baby arrival

In less than 12 hours we will be going to the hospital to have our second son enter the world. :) I am so happy.

I will try to update when I am back to normal - yeah, like that's going to happen.

I cannot put into words how excited I am for this new little guy to show up in this world.

I have to try to get some sleep...