Journey of starting a new ministry - week 6

(Over the next few months, maybe longer, I will be writing weekly posts on my journey of starting a new youth ministry position. The focus will be on general tips and suggestions for any youth minister starting a new position, but I will add-in moments specific to my situation. My goal is to offer advice to help other youth ministers and not write an online journal of my own personal experiences. In order to make this series of articles as beneficial as I can, I would appreciate your feedback and thoughts. And remember as you read about my journey in a new youth ministry that every situation is different; therefore, these ideas are just ideas and suggestions. You need to know your church culture and adjust your week-by-week to fit those needs.)


The big lesson this week (and thing you need to remember 6 weeks into a new ministry) is to be yourself. Do not try to be another minister. This may sound like an obvious statement. It may be the same thing you have been hearing since you were in youth ministry classes at college. But knowing the statement and applying it to your new ministry are two different things.


In most areas of my new ministry this has not been a problem. I know I am going to connect to students and parents differently than past youth workers. I make sure people know I am different than the other ministers on staff. I have never had the same work hours as other ministers, especially if a minister is a morning person. Honestly, I thought this idea of not trying to be like another minister was something I was pretty good at. But then I was asked to lead prayer during the service.


For some reason when I got up to pray, I started trying to pray like others I had heard in the previous five weeks. I am not sure why I thought/felt I needed to pray “like them,” but I did. And I felt awkward doing it. Plus afterward, I actually had someone tell me I looked nervous during the prayer. As I thought about this, I became more and more convinced that I was nervous. I was nervous because I was trying to be someone I was not. And I had to make sure I acted the part.


As you start to take on more responsibilities during a service or just become more visible to those outside of your ministry area, focus on being yourself. Do not attempt to talk like another minister or act like him, either. Know who you are and be who God made you to be.


Week 6 Bulletpoints:
- be yourself
- objectively evaluate the current ministry
- look for someone outside the congregation you can talk to
- make yourself visible beyond your ministry


Goals of the near future:
- read a book on parenting (then loan it to somebody)
- plan a parenting meeting
- build the youth ministry team connection (team bonding)


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Previous weekly perspectives: week 1, week 2, week 3, week 4, week 5
Previous monthly perspectives: month 1(part 1), month 1(part 2)

Every Youth Worker Needs: Supportive Leadership

(Youth ministry is not an easy ministry. And in this series, Every Youth Worker Needs:..., I want to highlight a variety of things that might make your ministry a little easier. This ongoing series will include ministry tips, book suggestions, technology helps, and many other nuggets of advice.)


Being a lead youth worker, paid or volunteer, is a very demanding position. You have to make many decisions every day, some that will affect the students for years to come. Sometimes, you do not get time to think about what you need to do, you just have to act. Other times, you have several days, at the least, to think through how best to handle a situation. But no matter how minor or monumental your decision is, you need to have leadership that will support you through it all.

Having supportive leadership does not mean that the other ministers and elders will agree with everything you suggest. Nor does it mean that you will pursue everything you want to. It does mean that you have the ability to discuss ideas openly and freely, knowing they will do what they can to provide the guidance and support you need. This might mean that when you suggest an idea, they gently encourage you to think of another option. Or it will mean that they agree with your suggestion, and encourage you to continue with implementing it.

But the real advantage of supportive leadership comes after a new program is started or another one is ended. Supportive leaders will listen to people's opinions and respond without degrading your decision. They will also try to help bring clarity and understanding to those who are opposed to something within the youth ministry. A supportive leader will not talk negatively of you, your ability to minister, or the ministry. Anything to the contrary would have already been handled behind "closed doors" and will not be discussed in public.

When a youth worker has supportive leaders, there are 2 crucial changes that occur within the mind of the youth worker: confidence and courage.

Disclaimer: Before I delve into these 2 changes, allow me to say that I firmly believe that God is the one who changes hearts, not the youth worker.

1. Confidence.
I have found from my experience that no matter how much a youth worker strives to follow God's leading it does not always lead to leading with confidence. You can feel confident that you are following God, but struggle to lead with the same confidence. No matter how "on track" with God you are, when you do not have supportive leadership, you struggle with second guesses and insecurities.

It's not that you do not believe in the future of the ministry, but you are not confident others will see it the same way. And when you lack the support of the leadership, you can begin to wonder if a change in the ministry will lead to making people upset - which could lead to the leadership deciding it is time for you to move on. The opposite is also true, though. When you are following God's leading AND backed by the support of the congregational leadership, then you have the confidence to face the obstacles and naysayers head on. You can face them head on because you know that you are not the only person who wants to see the ministry thrive. As your confidence grows, you must keep yourself from becoming arrogant, this level of over-confidence will lead to conflict with the leadership and will likely lead to more damage than you want to handle.

2. Courage.
Besides gaining confidence to handle the post-decision discussions with people, a supportive leadership allows the youth worker to lead with courage. When youth workers have the support of the leaders, they are willing to try new things and take more risks within the youth ministry. You do not have to feel apprehensive about the unknown outcome when you know you will not be facing it alone.

Leading a ministry means you are out in front of those you are leading. And sometimes leading a ministry is scary, but when you have the support of the leadership you do not feel as scared. You should always be following God's lead in your ministry, but even following God does not mean you do not feel scared. Working with supportive leadership helps a youth worker maintain the courage to make decisions based on God's leading, not the people's reactions.


Are you working with supportive leadership?
If you are not, what can you do to move in that direction?
Have you showed your leadership how thankful you are for their support?



(Every Youth Worker Needs: A Blog Series About Things You Need in Youth Ministry)

Journey of Starting a New Ministry - month 1 (2 of 2)

You might want to read part 1 first, if you haven't already.

The first month of a new ministry is very important. It is important for both you and the congregation. During this first month, you will be developing habits and routines which you will continue to use for a long time. You are beginning to set the precedent for what people can expect from you. The congregation will use these first four weeks to watch how you interact and listen to how you present yourself. The are interested in what you will bring to the ministry. Most of these people, even some of those who met you prior to being hired, have not had much time to meet you and ask you questions.


No two ministers will have the same first month at a new ministry. You might preach every week or not at all. You might not even be on stage during this month. You might teach multiple classes or you might be able to sit in and observe. You might have a death in the congregation or maybe its a wedding. You might start in the middle of summer or the middle of winter. Despite the fact that every start to a ministry is so vastly different, I believe there are some things that every minister needs to accomplish during this time.

Tips for Month #1(con't)
5. Learn the culture of the congregation
Technically, I should probably add the words “start to” in front of that phrase. The culture of the congregation is not something you can learn in one month, but you can learn a lot if you try. Ask a lot of questions to the other staff and leadership. Find out what is important, what is not important, and why. As you are sitting in on leadership meetings and discussing the life of the congregation (or should I use the word programs), pay attention to what is being implied about the culture. Learning this early will help you know how to go about changing things when you feel like you need to. 


6. Organize your office
This is a very important part of your first month. If you do not get your office organized (or at least mostly) at this point, it is going to be difficult to get it done. The longer you are there, the less you want to spend your time putting books away and going through files. Spend a few hours each day working on your office and you’ll have it done in no time. Plus, let’s be honest, when a youth worker has an organized office most people will be shocked and impressed.


7. Spend time away from the ministry
This goes right along with #2. As you start a new ministry, you are creating habits and patterns that will be carried on throughout your tenure at this congregation. Make it a point to spend time away from the ministry, including not doing work at home. Go to the park with your family. Go shopping. Rent a movie and enjoy a night at home. Go explore the area and find out what you can do with your family. Make sure your family knows that the new ministry is not more important than they are.




A quick thought on changes.
Whenever you begin a new ministry, you will encounter a number of things you want to change. Or at least I have a difficult time imagining someone not having at least one thing they want to change (if this is you, please contact me I would like to talk). Making changes, though necessary, is not always easy or wise. Although I cannot give you a specific timeline of when/how to make changes within your context, I will offer you a few of my thoughts on the topic.


Remember, you do not have to change everything in the first few weeks. In fact, you may not want to change anything that quickly. Most of the changes you will want to make will probably be grounded in a philosophy of ministry. When changes are based on something like that, you need to make sure those involved with the change have the same philosophy. And this can take time, so allow yourself time (maybe a year or more) to help move people along and work together on determining the reasons behind the changes before you make the changes.


Another thing you can do is to find something small that needs changed and change it. I got this idea from Jim Wideman, in a chapter entitled Fifteen Smart Things to Do During Your First Three Months in Children’s Ministry that Works by Group. All you need to do is find something that you can add or adjust that does not take a lot of effort, but makes something better. Maybe you make it easier for teachers to get their materials or provide a quicker way to notify parents of a ministry event. Even though you do not want to come in and make drastic changes, you want to avoid “not doing anything” for 6 months.


One last thought: There are times when you start a new ministry and there is a change that needs to be made right away. You will know what it is and you will know it needs to be handled. If there needs to be an immediate change, do not hesitate to work on it. You will need to talk with the other staff and leadership, gain understanding from them and share your concerns. Talk with any youth coach who might be involved and then come up with a solution, as a team. Do not try to make the change on your own, but do not ignore it either.


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Previous weekly perspectives: week 1, week 2, week 3, week 4, week 5

Journey of Starting a New Ministry - month 1 (1 of 2)

The first month of a new ministry is very important. It is important for both you and the congregation. During this first month, you will be developing habits and routines which you will continue to use for a long time. You are beginning to set the precedent for what people can expect from you. The congregation will use these first four weeks to watch how you interact and listen to how you present yourself. The are interested in what you will bring to the ministry. Most of these people, even some of those who met you prior to being hired, have not had much time to meet you and ask you questions.

No two ministers will have the same first month at a new ministry. You might preach every week or not at all. You might not even be on stage during this month. You might teach multiple classes or you might be able to sit in and observe. You might have a death in the congregation or maybe its a wedding. You might start in the middle of summer or the middle of winter. Despite the fact that every start to a ministry is so vastly different, I believe there are some things that every minister needs to accomplish during this time.

Tips for Month #1:
1. Learn names
This goes for those who are good at remembering names and those who forget ten seconds after you are told. Knowing the name of a student or adult makes it much easier to start conversations. Plus everyone likes to know that you care enough to learn their name.

2. Implement office hours & your day off
As you are starting your new ministry, you are forming new habits and routines. One of those routines needs to be setting up, and following through with, the hours you will spend in the office and what day you will be staying away from the office. There is plenty of “work” to be done at the beginning of a ministry and you will leave many days knowing there is much more you can do. Do not let the feeling that you need to prove yourself keep you from setting up limitations.

3. Plan informal gatherings with youth
You need to get to know the students, and that will not completely happen in the classroom setting. So plan some time to hang out with them away from church. You can plan a day in the park, go out to lunch, plan a game night or just plan a day to hang out at someone’s house. Do not use this time to give a devotional or plan upcoming events, just spend time talking and listening.

4. Get to know the adults (parents, youth coaches, elders...)
Aside from the students you will be ministering to, you need to learn more about the adults you will be working with. Meet for lunch or stop by their house (call beforehand). Ask a few questions about their family. Learn about their passions and what drives them. Share your heart for ministry. 

Teaching Tips: #1 Silence is Okay

Teaching Tip #1 - Silence is Okay
 
 
I was fresh out of Bible college, in my first youth ministry, sitting on a couch teaching high school students. I had spent hours preparing this lesson, studying the Bible, and crafting great questions to get the students talking. As I sat there going through my lesson notes, there was only one thing wrong: no one was answering. I was beginning to wonder what I had done wrong. Maybe my questions were too difficult or unclear. Maybe the students didn’t like me. As I thought through my concerns, all I could hear from them was silence. So I just kept moving. I answered the questions myself or just moved on to the next one. And when it was all over, I left feeling like I just wasted an hour of their life.

Have you ever had that same feeling?

What I have learned since then is that it was not necessarily my questions that were at fault, it was the way I was teaching. I was not allowing the students time to process the questions and formulate an answer. I assumed that silence meant they were either not interested or clueless. The silence scared me as a teacher. This fear of silence was a manifestation of my lack of confidence. Maybe you have the same fear of silence, too. If you do, let me share with you some things I have learned over the years.

Silence can mean a few things:
1. There is a fear of being wrong.
Sometimes, the students are silent after a question because they do not want to get the question wrong. School is a place with right and wrong answers and this mentality carries over into the youth ministry. As the teacher, one of your goals is to create a safe environment, where the students trust that their thoughts are valuable.

2. There answer is too personal to share with the group.
There are some questions we ask that go straight to the heart of a student. These are questions that spark life application and change. These are the questions that really affect the students. These are also the questions that need not always be answered verbally. Are you expecting a student to tell everyone else in class something that might be too personal?

3. The students do not have an answer.
Remember that time you were at a seminar and the speaker asked a question and you could not think of an answer. It happens to our students, too. Every student does not enter the room having spent the last week preparing to discuss the topic of the day. Some students enter the room with a dozen other things on their mind, all of which are competing for their attention. These mental distractions can make it difficult to quickly come up with answer, so try to remember not to rush them.

4. They are processing the question.
After you ask a question, especially an open-ended question, you need to give the students a chance to process. As the teacher, you have had days to think about the questions. The students, on the other hand, have only had seconds. You cannot expect a student to immediately answer. So stop expecting it and allow them time to think.

How to handle silence:
1. Give the students time.
After you ask a question, allow the students a few minutes to formulate their answers. One of the worst things you can do is to continually talk while you wait. You might need to offer suggestions and helps, but do not immediately start with them.

2. Pick students to answer.
If you have some questions to ask that are based off of a Scripture you will be reading, let a few students know that you will be asking them a question after the Scripture is read. This “warning” should encourage them to pay more attention to what is being read.

3. Start with questions everyone needs to answer.
This is especially helpful one of the first times the group is together, but it will help anytime. At the beginning of class, ask a couple questions that need to be answered by everyone. Do not make them too difficult or too narrow. You want the students to start thinking and to feel more comfortable talking in the group.

Do you have any other suggestions for handling silence?

Journey of starting a new ministry - week 5

(Over the next few months, maybe longer, I will be writing weekly posts on my journey of starting a new youth ministry position. The focus will be on general tips and suggestions for any youth minister starting a new position, but I will add-in moments specific to my situation. My goal is to offer advice to help other youth ministers and not write an online journal of my own personal experiences. In order to make this series of articles as beneficial as I can, I would appreciate your feedback and thoughts. And remember as you read about my journey in a new youth ministry that every situation is different; therefore, these ideas are just ideas and suggestions. You need to know your church culture and adjust your week-by-week to fit those needs.)

Week 5

At this point in a new ministry, you have started to settle in and should be feeling more comfortable. You will probably be in a routine. You will want to make sure your routine is a good one and you are not wasting time throughout the week. You should also be starting to build relationships with the students and the adults. And if you are not careful, you’ll forget that you are still only in your second month on the job.


This week I was able to do a couple things that I have been trying to accomplish. First, I was able to start meeting with one of the youth coaches. It was the first of an on-going series of meetings. We are going to try to meet once a week and talk about the youth ministry. Beyond that, he wanted to meet and talk about how he can be a better teacher. I am looking forward to the mentoring and training that is going to take place over lunch each week.


The second thing I was able to do was start planning for a “thank you” lunch for all of the teachers. This is something I have been wanting to do since I first got hired. I know that all of the teachers have been giving so much of their time and money to minister to the kids. Some have been doing it for years, others just started - but all are essential to an effective ministry. I know there is no way the youth ministry will reach the kids without the ministry of the adult volunteers. So I am excited about planning this lunch to show the volunteers that they are appreciated and important.


The last thing I am really excited about from this week was the changes I am starting to see in how the youth interact with me. This is a result of the relationships that are forming and the trust that is being built. They are starting to email/text/message me without my initiation. And not just me, but I am seeing a change in how they interact with my wife and kids (my kids are starting to feel comfortable around the teens, too). There is a lot of things I want to see happen in the lives of the students, but without a sense of trusting me they will not listen. (I am not trying to take the credit for something only God can do, just saying as a vehicle of that message I need to be trusted and respected.)


At this point, you should have a decent grasp on people’s names. If you are still struggling with names and faces, start studying the newest photo directory every day. People still do not expect you to get everyone’s name right, but they will be impressed when you do. If you are not already, you need to be intentional about this seemingly small aspect of your ministry.   



Week 5 Bulletpoints:
- have time for people over projects
- start a list of changes you think need to be made (don’t share it with anyone, yet)
- find one change and start working toward it
- go to lunch with a youth coach or church leader
- listen to people without talking


Goals of the near future:
- encourage a teacher
- sit in on several different classes
- learn more about the church culture


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Previous weekly perspectives: week 1, week 2, week 3, week 4, 

Journey of starting a new ministry - week 4

(Over the next few months, maybe longer, I will be writing weekly posts on my journey of starting a new youth ministry position. The focus will be on general tips and suggestions for any youth minister starting a new position, but I will add-in moments specific to my situation. My goal is to offer advice to help other youth ministers and not write an online journal of my own personal experiences. In order to make this series of articles as beneficial as I can, I would appreciate your feedback and thoughts. And remember as you read about my journey in a new youth ministry that every situation is different; therefore, these ideas are just ideas and suggestions. You need to know your church culture and adjust your week-by-week to fit those needs.)


Week 4
Last week was about little things, this week was more about surprises.

This was the week I was glad I spent the first few weeks getting my office organized (well, mostly organized). You see, this week I needed to know where certain books were and find old information. I felt like I was really starting to settle into the ministry and spending a lot more time dreaming/planning/ministering during the week. This week was the first week that felt “normal” (if there is such a thing as a normal week for a youth minister) when I think of what I want to do each week. I still know that this is just the beginning and I have a long way to go before I get to where I want to be. To put it another way, this was the first week I did not feel completely new to this position and that surprised me.

Another interesting thing happened to me this week. Last week, I planned two lunch gatherings for the students. Both days went well and I knew I would do it again, maybe every other week. This week I did not plan any lunches, but on two different occasions I had a couple students ask when they were. I did not expect that question, but am glad I was asked. I was planning on continuing with an every other week schedule through the rest of the summer, but might switch to every week - only once a week, instead of twice. These lunches will be a good way to build relationships with the students in a very informal setting.

Another surprising part of the week was when I realized that some aspects of ministry never change. No, I’m not talking about the fact that students don’t change, they just change names. I’m not even talking about the job descriptions or responsibilities placed on a youth minister. I am talking about some of the tendencies and habits a youth minister acquires based on certain situations. Let’s say, for example, a youth worker is undermined and threatened early in his ministry and develops a tendency to be defensive when talking with those in leadership. You would think this behavior would stop when the youth worker is years removed from the incident and at a new location. I was reminded this week that it is not always that easy.

There is one last thing I would suggest you remember at this point in your ministry because it will help with the transition. I would suggest that you intentionally work with those who were planning and organizing the different aspects of the ministry before you arrived. As much as the person might want to just dump the responsibility into your lap, do not let them. Try to work with them and learn from what they were doing. You might just pick up a nugget of wisdom that was learned through mistakes, thus helping you avoid the same mistakes. Wisdom like: making sure you remind teachers it is there month when the first or second of the month lands on a Sunday.

Week 4 Bulletpoints:
- try to meet with the parents of those “exiting” your ministry
- find a small, positive change you can make & make it
- continue making initial contacts with parents
- be visible during the church services

Goals of the near future:
- develop a vision & goals that coincide with those of the entire church
- learn the passion/heart of the youth coaches
- encourage youth coaches
- learn more names




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Previous weekly perspectives: week 1, week 2, week 3,