Reflections on: strengths & weaknesses

The other day I asked Nathan, my 4 years old son, what he thought my strengths and weaknesses were. He couldn't think of any weaknesses. His two main strengths were that I could reach tall things and I put batteries in toys.

I'm hoping to add those answers to my response next time someone asks me what my weaknesses or strengths are.

My son's answers did teach one valuable lesson about being a dad. There are certain things that stick out in a child's mind as being very important. Nathan didn't say I was good at providing for my family. He didn't say I was a good cook. He didn't say I was good at handling our budget. He didn't say I take good care of the cars or the yard. He said I was good at being tall and replacing batteries. Now, all of the other things are very important and I need to do them. But I can't neglect the importance of being there for my son.

As a dad, your kids need you to pay the bills, bring in an income, take care of the yard and get them clothes and such. But those are not the moments they will remember. They need more.

Your kids need you to:

• get down on the floor and play.
  
• fix their toys when they break.
• hold them when they are hurt.
• listen to their stories (even if its the 10th time you've heard it).
• pick them up.
• laugh at their bad jokes.
• smile when you see them.
• be patient with them.
• love them unconditionally.

Have you done those things with your kids lately?
What would you child(ren) say your strengths are?
What do you want them to say if asked?

3 Reasons to read a blog

As best as I can determine, there are 3 main reasons to read a blog.

1. Personal connection
The first reason to read a blog is because you know the person writing it. Whether its a family member, coworker, friend, or a neighbor you want to know what they are thinking. You want to know what is going on in their life. You enjoy seeing the pictures and reading the funny stories. It doesn't matter if they post daily, weekly or monthly.

2. Great content
The second reason to read a blog is because you enjoy the content. Most of the time you do not personally know the author of the blog. The content will: encourage, challenge, make you think, cause you to laugh, provide help or just be enjoyable. It does not have to have quotable content every day, but it does happen regularly.

3. High Profile Author
The third reason to read a blog is because the person writing it is a big name. You know about and respect the company they work for. You may not know about the person's character, integrity or work ethics. You read solely because of the high profile status of the author. This might even keep you reading the blog despite a lack of quality. You will read it to keep up with what "everyone else" is talking about or reading. Content can be anywhere from questionable to excellent.


What other reasons do you have to read a blog?

My yearly review: Lesson Learned #1 (promotion)

I got the rest of my evaluation at this month's elder's meeting. It was good. As expected, there were some things mentioned that I need to improve on, some I am doing well and some I need to start.

I wanted to share a few of the lessons I learned from the review. This is the first of a series of posts on lessons learned from my annual review. My desire is that these lessons will encourage you to be a better minister, too.

The first lesson I want to pass on is about passion. This is not about passion for God or the students. This is a passion for the programs and events you do. Really its about a passion for "selling/promoting" the event or program. One of the elders said something that stuck with me. He said,

"You must be convinced of what you are "selling" before you can convince others"

This was in reference to some of the events we've tried to do and some low attendance at said events. Now the elders don't know everything about how I promoted or didn't promote events or who I talked to about them, but they were just sharing some thoughts. Despite the fact that I believe there were other reasons for low numbers, this sentence struck me as true.

As I've looked back on how I promote events or programs, I have not always been excited when talking about them. For some reason I make it a quick announcement, in a low/hushed voice. Like I'm interrupting something and don't really want to be heard. I'm not sure why this was a habit, but it is something I know I need to change.

How to promote/sell an event or program:
1. Be excited about it. If I'm not excited then I either don't need to plan it or need to get excited about it.

2. Be more creative with promoting. I need to start using more methods than just announcing it. This is harder because we meet in a room that is really too small for our group and we sit in a circle. I don't always have access to a TV/DVD, so I have avoided using video. What other creative ways could I use?

3. Get someone else to promote it. I could have a student read the announcements or get a random adult to come in and do them.

4. Remember I'm giving them one more event to attend. Not that I want to compete with other activities, but sometimes I am. Most of them will have to choose between the youth event and something else.

5. Talk about it more than just during a youth event. Share with individual students outside of church. Get feedback from them and discuss any issues they might have.

How do you promote an event? What have you learned about "selling" an event or program?

Spiritual Peripheral Vision

Peripheral vision is something we usually do not notice. Some people take it for granted. Other people, like myself, who wear glasses do not see it clearly. But what happens when we lose it?

Tunnel Vision.

I hate tunnel vision. I do not like to wear a hoodie with the hood up, even if its cold, because I do not like the inability to see around me. Having the ability to see the edges (even if they are blurry) is extremely important to me.

What about my spiritual peripheral vision, though? Do I notice it? Most of the time we get so focused on what is straight ahead of us, we fail to see there are edges we can see. We think we know exactly what it is that God wants us to do - the exact direction He is leading. But if we fail to use our peripheral vision, we might miss out on a great opportunity. An opportunity that is just to the side of the direction we are going.

I think we don't even care. Most Christians have never used their spiritual peripheral vision and have no desire to start.

In ministry, do we do the same thing? Do you get so focused on where you "know" God is leading the ministry that you neglect the edges? Is it possible there is something just to the left or right (outside your direct view) that is better than where you are going? Maybe you need to be watching for obstacles or danger to come from the edges.

Youth Ministry Thought: Q/A silence

Do you allow there to be silence after you ask questions?

No matter what age the group is, asking questions can be tough. It seems that whether I'm teaching, observing, or part of the group there is always a time of silence after a question is asked. I think there are a few reasons for this.

1. Poorly worded question.
2. Thought provoking question.
3. People are not paying attention.
4. People just do not have an answer.

One of the first things I learned in ministry was the importance of allowing the students to think after a question is asked. Is this easy? No, its usually awkward. I've watched many teachers be quick to say something, not wanting there to be silence. But silence is your friend (as long as you have asked a good question). Silence means the students are thinking and processing. I would rather have a student process a question than just give a quick, unthoughtout answer (or worse just give a "Sunday School" answer).

Give them time to process the question.

There is another side, though. The question may not be asking what you think it is or it may just be confusing. Even in these cases, I would recommend allowing the students to process. If they are trying to really think about it then I've found that at least one student will ask to have you rephrase the question.

While you are waiting for an answer, be thinking about the question you asked. If its confusing to you, work on rewording it on the spot and reask it. But don't answer it yourself. If the students know you will answer it, then they will learn to just wait for you to tell them what to think. And once you go down that road - its hard to get them back. (at least that's what I've found)

Next time you're working on a lesson, spend extra time making sure you are asking good, thought-provoking questions. Then during the class, be willing to wait for an answer.

Let the students process.
Let God work in their hearts.
Let them learn its okay to not always have a quick answer.
Let their be silence.