to quote someone else: generosity (Gordon Macdonald)

"Never forget what someone has done for you; never remember what you have done for others."

taken from Secrets of the Generous Life by Gordon Macdonald

I think this is a great principle to live by, the only problem is that it is not always easy. It can be difficult to forget "how many" times you have helped someone when they need it again. But if you want to live generously, you will.

Secrets of the Generous Life is a great devotional, you need to get a copy and go through it.

to quote someone else: Student Discipleship (Mike Yaconelli)

"Most of all, love them. Believe in them. Trust them. Be an example for them. Stick with them over the long haul. And some day, when they're older, when they've weathered a few storms, when they've been beaten up by life a bit, they may actually start looking like a disciple - not because you discipled them, but because you refused to give up on them."

taken from Getting Fired for the Glory of God by Mike Yaconelli


Youth workers need to be reminded that youth ministry (and discipleship) is not a sprint. Remember that Jesus spent 3 years with His disciples, and they still did not get until after He left.

Do not give up!
Do not feel defeated!
Keep going!
Stick with your students!

to quote someone else: Vernon Whaley (worship leader encouragement)

"For a moment here, allow me to address the worship leaders among you. Servants of God, stay faithful to your task. Sure, there are days when it seems you're the only one on staff with a clear vision for how worship should be. The loneliness of the rehearsal room is almost too much to bear. While those under your leadership are getting 'pats on the back,' your own labor is seemingly ignored. And trying to find songs that meet the needs of everyone in your congregation? A waste of time, you're convinced. The old-timers want songs from yesteryear's hymnals; the younger set want their choruses, products of contemporary musicians, projected on the wall. While one group claps enthusiastically, another 'claps' their hands over their ears. It's useless! your heart signs. But friend, it's not. Remember, your worship is unto the Lord. After all, our worship here is just a rehearsal for our worship in eternity. Meanwhile, just remain faithful, and God will reward your efforts. He-not the church membership-is the righteous Judge. Meanwhile, look at every opportunity to promote God's kingdom through worship as God's opportunity. Lost men and women, boy and girls, grandparents, friends, and neighbors will be impacted by the worship-and faithfulness- that you demonstrate."

Taken from Called to Worship by Vernon Whaley

May this be an encouragement for worship leaders. When you have a rough weekend, remember your efforts are not about pleasing people - but rather about pleasing God.

This paragraph can also serve as an encouragement for youth workers. Sometimes we feel the same sort of things and forget Who we ultimately are ministering to.

(pass this along to any and every worship leader you know, especially if you think they need some encouraging words)

to quote someone else: N.T. Wright (faith)

"Faith can't be forced, but unfaith can be challenged."

taken from Simply Christian by N.T. Wright


As a youth minister, this quote challenges me to think about how I approach evangelism and discipleship. I need to be challenging the students, not trying to force them to believe what I want them to.

How does this quote affect your thoughts on reaching the lost in your community?

Learned from Twitter: week ending July 11, 2009

What a fun week its been, on and off Twitter. Here are a few of the nuggets of wisdom and wonder I learned on Twitter this week.

1. saraeden (Sara Eden) was blessed by some generous people at her church. These are the people who both bless & humble us as we serve God and students.

"the grandparents of 2 students just offered to write a check for my @nywc registration. Humbled by this church family over and over."

2. riddlegroup (Mark Riddle) shared a great opening line for your next message.

"A great intro to a sermon/talk: "Your job is to take notes, my job is to make that impossible." - Peter Rollins"

3. MarkMatlock (Mark Matlock) asked a great question for anyone with kids to answer. So, what is your answer?

"Sit-down meals with family 'keep youths out of trouble''. How often does your family eat together? http://tinyurl.com/mmsv2o"

4. (Anonymous twitterer) shared one of the reasons youth ministers do what we do.

"Had a great meeting with a young man considering going into full time ministry."

5. shawnmichael (Shawn Michael Shoup) quoted me for the first time of anyone on Twitter (that I know of). Thanks Shawn. (I just thought I'd share with you, blog readers, because I thought it was cool that he actually quoted me.)

"You need 2 B involved in a youth worker network & more importantly, U need 2 strive 2 help make it the best network anywhere."(via @lilkup)

6. saraeden (Sara Eden) shared a great moment she had with a senior and freshman. Sometimes, high schoolers are just amazing, aren't they?

"Just heard a senior say 'woo hoo! You're officially a high schooler!' and high five a new freshmen. Love it!"

What did you learn from Twitter this week?

to quote someone else: Fireworks & First Independence Day (John Adams)

"The day (Independence Day) will be the most memorable in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival...it ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade...bonfires and illuminations (fireworks) from one end of this continent to the other, from this day forward forevermore."

a quote in reference to the first Independence Day fireworks celebration in 1776 by then future President John Adams

to quote someone else: group like Jesus' (Mark Yaconelli)

"If you have a group of twelve kids who don't understand your illustrations and one of them wants to kill you, you have a youth group just like Jesus."

A Mark Yaconelli quote, taken from Sustainable Youth Ministry by Mark DeVries.

How many times have you looked at your group of students and thought, "even Jesus couldn't get through to these kids?"

Often we forget that the disciples did not understand Jesus' messages, and He was the best teacher ever. Next time you get frustrated at the group of students you work with, be reminded that Jesus' group was just as frustrating. And look how they changed the world!!

to quote someone else: a youth worker's comfort zone (Mark Devries)

"Without a coach, a youth ministry is reduced to the size of the leader's comfort zone. We all need people who are honest enough to help us move from making excuses to making progress."

taken from Sustainable Youth Ministry by Mark Devries

How many youth ministries go without a coach? Is your ministry reduced to the size of your comfort zone?

to quote someone else: Steven Case (dealing with complainers)

"Ask yourself this: How would you react if the complainer were one of your students?"

taken from Help! I'm a Frustrated Youth Worker by Steven Case

This quote/question really struck me as a great mental filter for youth workers. We all have complainers in the church and we all deal with complaints weekly. How do you respond?

It is also good to remember this truth:

"It's important to remember not to take criticism personally. People will complain no matter who sits in the youth minister's office. It's not about you."

also taken from Help! I'm a Frustrated Youth Worker by Steven Case

to quote someone else: Andy Crouch (changing culture)

"The only way to change culture is to create more of it."
"So if we seek to change culture, we will have to create something new, something that will persuade our neighbors to set aside some existing set of cultural goods for our new proposal."

taken from Culture Making by Andy Crouch

What are we, youth workers, doing to change the youth/teenage culture? Does your ministry seek to change culture? Are you actively creating new culture for your students?

to quote someone else: Tim Kizziar (our greatest fear)

"Our greatest fear as individuals and as a church should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don't really matter."

taken from Crazy Love by Francis Chan

What is it that you are trying to succeed in? Will that success ultimately matter? If not, maybe your focus needs to change.

I know some of mine does.

to quote someone else: Francis Chan ("crazy" faith)

"Having faith often means doing what others see as crazy. Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers."

taken from Crazy Love by Francis Chan

This is nothing new and is probably something you have heard in a sermon or two, but it bears repeating. I think a lot of Christians struggle with truly living their life by faith. Living by faith means you do not know what tomorrow brings, you will not know how a certain situation will turn out. Not being "sure" about the future (and we all know its impossible for anyone to ever really be sure of the future) is counter cultural for most people.

My one big concern, though, is that an unbeliever is not the only person who finds living by faith crazy. Christians do too. I have found in my life that there are times where other Christians struggle to understand how a person can have peace/faith during a period of complete uncertainty.

My prayer is that the way you life your life makes zero sense to unbelievers and encourages fellow Christians to step out in faith.

Youth Pastors in a Negative Light

I'm reading through Signature Sins by Michael Mangis (a review will be posted in the future) and came to the chapter on Gender, Family and Sin when something grabbed my attention. In order to try and not lose any of the context, I'm going to post the entire paragraph, then I'll talk about what bothered me and why.

"Several years ago my (Mangis) friend and colleague Cynthia Neal Kimball and I surveyed college women about unwanted sexual experiences. The women wrote their stories anonymously. Although we read some accounts of date rape and sexual abuse, more than half of the stores were accounts that we came to call stories of the 'lost voice.' The women recounted being with men who did not overpower them in any literal way yet left them feeling violated. The men in the stories were often youth pastors or other figures who held powerful roles in the women's lives. These women wrote things such as 'NO! was running through my mind but I just couldn't say it till afterwards' and 'I couldn't say no to a guy even thought I knew I should. I was not forced to do anything - I just didn't have the strength to say no.' The women seldom blamed the men or spoke of themselves as victims. Instead they described feeling confused and ashamed that they could find themselves in such a situation and not know how to get out." (emphasis added)

I am upset with the numerous accounts (high percentage?) of unwanted sexual experiences by the women surveyed. But what bothered me more was the fact that youth pastors had a role in those stories. I am not naive about the struggle many (all?) youth pastors have to stay sexually pure. And I have heard of youth pastors who have been inappropriate with a student. It is not new to me, yet it saddens me every time I hear about it.

I hope that youth pastors would just stop this kind of stupid behavior.

This is one of the reasons why I have certain "rules" for one-on-one interaction with female students. (and if you are a female youth worker, just switch "female" for "male" in these rules)

#1. I am never alone with a female (student or adult)
#2. If I am driving students home and one is a female, she will be dropped off before the guys. (goes with #1)
#3. Always allow a female youth coach to do the counseling of female students (when it is not possible, limit discussion as much as possible and talk in a public place).
#4. I tell my wife about all conversations I have with females, there is no need for there to be any secrecy or suspicion.
#5. If my wife is not home and a female student stops by, I will either talk to them right inside and stay by the open windows or talk to them outside on the porch. (or I'll politely tell them my wife is not home and see if they can come back at a later time)
#6. Make sure the students and adults understand your stance on this issue.


What about you? What do you do to keep yourself accountable and prevent this from happening to one of your female students?

to quote someone else: Lynne Ellis (preparing students)

"How might God be preparing your students to be world Christians after they graduate?"

taken from Mission Trips: From Start to Finish by Lynne Ellis, with Doug Fields


As youth workers, I think this is a question we need to be asking ourselves on a regular basis.

As you plan your year - ask this question.
As you think about the incoming freshmen - ask this question.
As you plan your lessons - ask this question.
As you put together your next retreat - ask this question.

What do you see God doing in the lives of your students today to prepare them for their future?

to quote someone else: Francis Chan (serving God)

"When Jeremiah voices his hesitation and fear, God - the God of the galaxies - reaches out and touches his mouth. It's a gentle and affectionate gesture, something a loving parent would do. through this illustration I realized that I don't have to worry about not meeting His expectations. God will ensure my success in accordance with His plan, not mine."

taken from Crazy Love by Francis Chan (emphasis mine)

When you serve God, do you place certain expectations on your own ability to get things done well?
Do you place the weight of "your success" on what you can do or do you trust God to do what He can do?

to quote someone else: Mike King (conflict)

"giving up because of conflict and moving on only results in needing to take the test over again."

taken from Presence-Centered Youth Ministry by Mike King


I think youth workers struggle a lot with conflict (all ministers do). We seem to always run into someone who doesn't like what we are doing, our methods, or the fact that we are changing things. You will never be at a ministry which does not have conflict. If you are, then I would guess you are not doing much to change or improve the ministry.

When conflict arises and it gets tough:
- don't give up.
- rely on God for strength.
- listen to those around you.
- work on resolving the issue.

to quote someone else: Gerald May (acts of faith)

"For this reason, the purest acts of faith always feel like risks. Instead of leading to absolute quietude and serenity, true spiritual growth is characterized by increasingly deep risk taking. Growth in faith means willingness to trust God more and more, not only in those areas of our lives where we are most successful, but also, and most significantly, at those levels where we are most vulnerable, wounded, and weak. It is where our personal power seems most defeated that we are given the most profound opportunities to act in true faith. The purest faith is enacted when all we can choose is to relax our hands or clench them, to turn wordlessly toward or away from God. This tiny option, the faith Jesus measured as the size of a mustard seed, is where grace and the human spirit embrace in absolute perfection and explode in world-changing power."

taken from Addiction & Grace: Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions by Gerald May (emphasis added)

This quote not only speaks to youth workers on a personal level, but as you look at the youth ministry you lead. Are you allowing/encouraging your students to live out these acts of faith, the faith that is a major risk?

What are your thoughts?
What experiences can you share about faith leading to risk?

to quote someone else: Paul Pettit (parenting)

"It's in the day-to-day, run-of-the-mill activities of our life that we impact our children the most. Habits, routines, and heroes are made in the normal days, not at the annual visit to the theme park."

taken from dynamic dads: How to be a hero to your kids by Paul Pettit

Great advice to every dad out there. Raising your children should not be the responsibility of the mom. Make time for your family today. In the long-run, you'll be glad you did.

to quote someone else: Mark Atteberry (Jesus' love)

"We can avoid, defy, elude, evade, rebuff, resist, or reject him (Jesus), but it doesn't change the way he feels about us. Nor does it diminish his desire to bless us."

taken from free refill by Mark Atteberry

Today, remember that there is nothing you can do to make Jesus love you less. Enjoy knowing how much Jesus loves you!

to quote someone else: Stormie Omartian (God & our future)

"He (God) only promises to reveal Himself to us, when we seek Him. That's because He doesn't want us to know the future - He wants us to know Him. He is our future. When we know Him, He guides us into the future He has for us."

taken from The Power of a Praying Husband by Stormie Omartian