Best of '09: Random Favorites

The year 2009 A.D. is over. The past 12 months have brought with them many new things; some good, some bad, and some not worth mentioning. I would like to take some time and highlight some of my favorite parts of 2009. I will call this list the "best of '09" - which simply means that, in my opinion, these are the best items in a certain category. I fully expect you to disagree with some of my choices or to be upset I did not add other items to the list. If you feel this way, please add your "best of '09" ideas in the comments.

The eighth, and final, list will be a collection of random favorites. This is a list of anything that does not fit in one of the other categories, but I really like. Maybe this jumbled assortment of stuff will spark some thought, maybe a laugh, or maybe you'll just get a better glance at who I am. Without any further wait, here is a list of my favorites from TV to parenting (in no particular order).


Community on NBC
I find myself laughing more often than not when I watch Community. Though I do not think every episode is a home run, I do not expect it to be either. My favorite part of the show is the interaction between Troy and Abed - simply hilarious. If you need a good laugh, this show might just help.

The Office on NBC
Simply one of the best shows on network television, in my opinion. I've been a fan since episode 2 (I didn't like the pilot on the British version, and since the American version was identical, I didn't like it either). Consistently funny. I do have some fears about where the writers are heading with Dwight's diabolical plan - I hope he doesn't become super vengeful (it would ruin the "feel" of the show for me).

Watching baseball (on TV) with my boys
As my boys are getting older, they are starting to want to watch baseball more. This means I get one more thing I can share with my sons. One funny thing about watching baseball this past summer was that they would ask to watch it, then after 2 or 3 innings, they would begin to complain about watching it. They aren't quite ready for a full game, but just watching baseball with them is good for me. And if I have an option - it would be a Cubs gave every time.

Star Wars
Star Wars has taken on a whole new level for me this year, because my two boys are starting to really get into it. We've watched all the movies, save Episode 3. We have read Revenge of the Sith (with some editing) to them, though. They love playing Lego Star Wars on Gamecube, playing with their action figures, coloring, pretending to be in Star Wars, and talking about the Star Wars universe. This has brought up many opportunities to talk about right/wrong, choices, good/evil, anger/love and a plethora of other topics.

Plus, I have to admit I really like the Clone Wars cartoon. Working my way, with the boys, through season one.

Being a father of 3
There is nothing like being a father and this year I have enjoyed being a father to three small children. As my youngest grows from baby to toddler, the level of play increases - which can cause friction when all three want to play with the same thing. But overall, it just means we get to do more things together as a family.

Writing more
I enjoy writing and this past year I got the chance to do more of it. I was honored to get the chance to contribute to some cool products (like SYM's Live Curriculum) as well as a couple youth ministry projects (YM Blog). I hope to be able to continue writing, plus to improve my writing in the coming year.

Spending more time with my wife
I purposefully tried to spend more time doing things with my wife this year. We tried to read through a book together, but that didn't last too long. We watched some shows together, spent time talking, played games, and went on walks. I want to spend even more time with her this year.

Substitute teaching
I like teaching and I like students - so substitute teaching is a great way to combine the two. Every day I sub brings a new adventure. I never know what the lesson plan will be until I get there and I don't always know who I will interact with during the day. As a youth minister, it is also a great way to get to know more students. I hope to be able to continue subbing for years to come.

Sam's Cola: Cherry
My new favorite flavor of pop. You need to try it - that is all.

Games
My favorite board or card games include: Dutch Blitz, Boggle, Battleship, and chess.


What are your favorite things?



Other posts in this series:
Best of '09 - Music
Best of '09 - Youth Ministry Books
Best of '09 - Non-Ministry Books
Best of '09 - Websites
Best of '09 - Blog posts
Best of '09 - Web Apps
Best of '09 - Ministry Moments
Best of '09 - Random Favorites

Book Review: God's Little Princess Devotional Bible by Sheila Walsh

(This review is for all of you youth workers who have little girls at home. Or for anyone who works with children and might need a resource of ideas or a gift to give to parents)

As my daughter is getting ready to turn one, I am really starting to think about what resources are available to help me as a parent. I think I know what the boys need a lot better than I know what my little girl needs. So, when I saw God's Little Princess Devotional Bible, I was quick to pick it up. This devotional Bible is geared toward girls age 4-7 and I would say Walsh has done a good job writing for that age group. The Scriptures are taken from the International Children's bible, which means they are written so that little girls will understand the verses.

Along with the Scripture, this devotional Bible contains several other features. Everything from Scripture memory, tips on being beautiful on the inside, profiles of women in the Bible, Scripture promises, skits, songs to sing, teaching manners and values. Each feature is full of fun activities and questions to help your little princess grow. If you are looking for something to help you and your daughter spend time in the Bible together, God's Little Princess Devotional Bible will be a huge help.

There is only one problem I have with this book: the almost complete absence of dads within its pages. There are only four mentions of "dad" throughout the book, all in the combination of "mom and dad." (p. 213, 215, 284, 336) A few other times, parents are mentioned. But every other time there is a reference to a parent, it is always mom. And I understand the need for daughters to spend time with their mothers and the fact that during the day mothers are more likely to be home, but let's not neglect dads. If there was a mention at the beginning of the book stating it was going to focus on the mother/daughter relationship, then I would be fine with it. If you are a dad like me and want to use this devotional with your daughter, then you will need to adjust some of the wording.

My advice (rating) – go out and buy it (3.5 out of 5)

A prayer during communion

I was sitting by my boys (5 and 3), one on each side of me during service. Nothing unusual was happening, mostly the same routine for us during the service. Then came the Lord's Supper. This part of the service is always interesting for us, because it can be difficult to quietly concentrate on Christ's sacrifice when your child is asking you to get him a crayon or help read a book. Over the weeks/months, we have been trying to teach the boys what the Lord's Supper is about and why we partake each week.

Before I continue the story, you need to know that we pass the bread first and then pass the juice separately.

Well, on this Sunday, something unusual happened. On this Sunday, after I ate the bread I decided to go ahead and just pray silently. It's not the first time the boys have seen my wife or I do this. But, on this occasion, my oldest did something different. While I was praying, he started to ask me a question. I do not know what the question was about, because he stopped himself mid sentence. And without opening my eyes, I continued to pray. Then, less than a minute later I heard him quietly talking to himself (which is not that unusual). What was different was that he was not talking to himself, he was praying.

He began to pray and this is a paraphrase of what I remember him saying:

"God, thank you for dying on the cross for me, so that I can have eternal life and live with you in heaven. I'm glad you did."

Then, when the juice was being passed and I took it and then prayed, he did the same thing. He prayed pretty much the same prayer again.

After I was done praying, I opened my eyes and looked at him. He asked if I was praying, to which I said "yes." Then he told me that he was too. (I did not tell him that I heard him or was so proud of him - I'll save that for later). I told him that it was good to pray during the Lord's Supper and smiled.

My son understands the connection between the Lord's Supper and Christ's sacrificial death on the cross. I mean, he could have prayed about anything, but he chose to pray about Christ's death and eternal life. He prayed a simple, genuine prayer of thanks - a great reminder of the simplicity of what Christ did for us on the cross.

A little Father's Day history

In case you need some information for this week's newsletter or just want some fun facts to use this week. Here are three little bits of history about how Father's Day came to be what it is today.


In 1916, US President Woodrow Wilson approved the idea of observing an annual Father's Day.

In1924, President Calvin Coolidge made Father's Day a national event.

In 1966 President Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential proclamation declaring the 3rd Sunday of June as Father's Day.

Trivia Wednesday #125: First Summer Movie Blockbuster

answer #124 - Neck ties, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, are the number one gift for Father’s Day. (What is the most popular gift to give on Father's Day?)

question #125 - What movie is considered the first summer blockbuster?

Discussion Starter: Padded bras for preschool girls

While visiting pbsparents the other day, my wife saw an article talking about protecting your little girls from growing up too fast and avoiding a sexualized childhood. Here is an excerpt from the article:

Helen recently wrote asking me for help dealing with the aftermath of the "High School Musical" birthday party her 5-year-old daughter had recently attended. At the party, the girls dressed up in fancy clothes and were taught how to do a special [i.e., sexy] dance by the high school-aged cousin of the birthday girl. After the HS Musical cake, the girls broke the HS Musical piñata to get their party favors -- temporary tattoos of the film's characters. The children did a special performance of the HS Musical dance when parents arrived to pick them up.

Helen's daughter loved the party and quickly started pleading to see the HS Musical movies. On a recent trip to a mass market store, her daughter kept pointing to the movie's products and got especially excited about the padded bra and bikini underpants set "in her size!" And she continued to practice her HS Musical dance both at home and in public places like the mall.

Here is another discussion I found on the topic.

My little girl is not even 6 months old yet, so I haven't had to deal with any of this stuff up to this point in my parenting. But I know that day will come sooner than I expect (and even sooner if this is an actual trend taking place around the country).

What are your thoughts on this trend? Have you noticed it with any of your children? And is it anything new or has it been this way for a while?

How does this type of sexualized childhood affect a church's children's ministry? Should it?

You can use this article to start discussion with your students about sex, beauty, self-image, how culture affects how we see ourselves, pressure, marketing.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.

Reflections on: Christmas vacation

This trip home has been different than those of the past. Maybe it has something to do with the 3 kids, or maybe its that I'm getting older. I bet its a combination of these two, plus many other factors. This year has been the first time in 7 years that we've been with our extended families on Christmas. Our first Christmas as a married couple we were in GA and did not go home due to my church responsibilities. That year, we traveled home for Christmas in January. We kept that tradition up for the next six years (and depending on where I end up in ministry we will probably do it again in the future).

But this year, we were able to travel to see family on Christmas. We spent Christmas Eve with my side of the family, at my grandpa's. This has been the celebration day for my family for as long as I remember. It was so great to be there with a lot of my family. Then on Christmas, we drove up to be with Amy's family for Christmas night. It was the first time I remember driving on Christmas day, a lot more people than I thought there would be. Another fun night with family.

Here are some of my reflections on this Christmas trip:

1. Family & friends mean more than gifts. Gifts are great, but I would much rather spend time with people I love and not get a gift from them. The gifts stop working or you lose interest, but the people need to be cherished.

2. Travel with 3 kids is exponentially different than 2 kids. It can be stressful to travel with 2 kids, but adding the 3rd changes everything. It becomes so much more difficult to get everyone to travel in the same sequence, so to speak. Trips that should take 4 hours, can take at least 5 hours. Make sure to enjoy ever moment, though.

3. Always leave room in your vehicle for the return trip. On a Christmas trip, with little kids, you will most likely return home with more stuff than you left with.

4. Busy schedule -> stress -> miscommunication. Vacations can bring out the worst opportunities to stay connected to your spouse. If you do not take the time to talk with your spouse, then you won't be given that time.

5. Talking with your family is extra important on vacations. See #4. When you are with your family (the extended kind) do not just sit around and watch TV. Take the time to talk about topics that are important, talk about faith, talk about your family history, talk about parenting. You do not get these opportunities very often, so take advantage of them.

6. A lot can happen in a year. Since last Christmas a lot has happened in my life, and being home reminded me of just how much. Last year on Dec. 28th, my grandma passed away. In April, I started looking for a new ministry. In May, I stopped ministering at my church. In July, my first daughter (third child) was born. In September, she had hernia surgery. In October I turned 30. Over the last 7 months, I have been constantly amazed at how God provides for and takes care of my family. I can't wait to see what next year holds.

7. All good vacations come to an end. No matter how good a vacation you have, it has to end. You have to return to your daily routine. You have to get back to work. Hopefully, for those working in churches, this is not a bad thing. If you are passionate about what you do for a living, then you will be just as excited to return to that work.

bonus: some guy at church had a dog with him. It was weird to see him walk out with his dog in his arms. On the bright side, the dog never made a sound during the entire service.


What was your favorite moment from your Christmas vacation?

a bike ride and a lesson on trust

I went on a bike ride with my oldest son (4 yo) the other day. It was just him and I. We started out the same way we usually go, but at our first turn I asked him if he wanted to go right instead of left. He thought that would be good, so we went right. It was a fun ride with him, and he was doing great. He was doing most of the peddling himself, I only helped push him a few times.

As we made our next turn, Nathan was telling me that he was scared to ride down this street because it had a rather big hill. He does not like hills very much on his bike, which I understand completely. I was trying to reassure him that I was going to be there with him the whole time and I would stop his bike if I needed to. As we continued to ride closer to the hill, he started to get anxious about what was going to happen. I started to remind him that I was going to be there the whole time with him, when he interrupted me and said something that completely shocked me (and made me start to cry).

He said, "Dad, I know you are watching over me and you'll protect me, but I'm still scared."

He had just stated to me the same feelings I have been having toward God lately. My son's words were honest and real. He has heard me tell him over and over that I'm going to be there for him. He has heard me tell him that he can trust me. And over and over, I have been there
for him. I have picked him up when he's fallen or caught him before he did. Yet, as he is growing up and learning to do more things independently he still has fears. He is experiencing life in new and unfamiliar ways and knowing I'll be there for him helps, but it does not take away his fear.

I loved the honesty with which he uttered the sentence. It was not something he had practiced. It was not something he had even thought about. It was an honest response to his dad, in a particular situation he found himself in. I sometimes wish I was that honest with God.

I believe that sentence is the very sentence I need to be saying to God every day. Right now, my life is rather unpredictable. I do not know what tomorrow will bring. I do not know how things will work out financially. I do not know when I'll get that phone call I've been waiting for. But there is one thing I do know for sure - God is faithful.

God, I know You are watching over me and will protect me, but I'm still scared.


(even as I type this post I am tearing up)

Going unnoticed by your spouse

With that title, you would think this was going to be a post about how our marriages can slowly split apart or how one spouse feels neglected and under appreciated. But that is not the direction I am going with this one. I'm talking about serving your spouse on a daily basis without drawing attention to it.

Marriage is a wonderful institution.
A good marriage takes both spouses giving 100%.
A good marriage is not always easy.
A good marriage takes sacrifice.
A good marriage takes effort.
A good marriage takes going unnoticed.

Going unnoticed is about doing things for your spouse without expecting to be seen or acknowledged. This is a valuable part of a good marriage. Yet, it something that can be very difficult to accomplish. Like other areas of your life, you probably like to receive a little praise when you do something good. Everyone likes a "pat on the back" recognition for their behavior, even when it is not above and beyond what is expected.

Stop for a minute and think over the last week. How many times have you done something and waited for some form of affirmation from your spouse. Maybe it was taking the trash out, clearing your spot at the table, helping put the kids to bed, driving your kids around to sporting events or just being home on time. None of these tasks are extra special - most people would say they are regularly expected in a marriage. But if you are like me, there are times you do these tasks and want your spouse to notice. It's not that you wouldn't do them without recognition, its just nice to receive.

But I want to argue that it is far better to strive to go unnoticed. When you strive to go unnoticed by your spouse, you are taking a step toward being more like Christ. When Jesus healed, He did not heal for recognition. He was not serving the people, so that He could get a pat on the back or a thank you note. Ultimately, He served people because He loved them and wanted to meet a need.

What can you do in your marriage to go unnoticed? I've got 10 ideas to get you started.

10 Ways to Serve Your Spouse & Go Unnoticed:
1. Clean up the table after a meal.
2. Take the trash outside.
3. Clean up the bathroom sink after you brush your teeth.
4. Keep the toilet seat down (men) or up (women).
5. Wash the dishes.
6. Do a load of laundry, including folding and putting away.
7. Vacuum the floors.
8. Fix those little household projects without letting them build up.
9. Keep the finances up to date (pay the bills on time, keep track of your budget).
10. Be thankful for the things he/she does for you

You may read that list and think if you did any of them you would most certainly get noticed by your spouse. Well, here is the secret (in my opinion) to doing these things and going unnoticed by your spouse. You need to do them regularly and without drawing attention to them. At first, it may be a big attention getter, but the more you do it the more it goes unnoticed. And ultimately, that is the key - to love your spouse enough to serve him/her on a daily basis. There may be weeks that go by without hearing anything from your spouse about your actions. I think you want these actions to become normal and expected. You do not need extra praise or acknowledgment, because that is not the reason you do it in the first place.

Next time you do something for your spouse - don't do it to get noticed.

Reflections on: turning 30

Today I turn 30. As I transition from being a young 20-something into a wiser 30-something, I have been looking back over my first 30 years and reflecting. I thought I might share some of those reflections with you...

Random Reflections:
1. I'm actually having trouble remembering what life was like when I turned 20.
2. When I was in high school, I thought it would take forever to get to 30.
3. I have friends who I've known over half my life. Wow!
4. I wonder what my parents are feeling, as their baby turns 30.
5. I still wear some of the same shirts I did when I was in college. (that was tough to admit)
6. How fast can my hair really recede?
7. I still have my baseball card collection from childhood and I haven't looked at any of them in years.
8. There are some special memories that only grow stronger with time.
9. You know you are getting old when you start using phrases like, "When I was in high school..."
10. When I was in high school, I only used the computer for playing games and writing papers.
11. When I was in high school, none of my friends had email or a cell phone.

Reflections on Parenting/Marriage:
12. When I was in high school, I started dating my wife. (never have figured out why she went out with me in the first place)
13. I have 3 kids already - Wow!
14. Though I do not feel much smarter this year, I like to think I'm a little wiser.
15. I have a huge responsibility to teach my boys to be godly men.
16. My daughter needs a dad who is a great example of a godly man, too.
17. I love my wife more today than when we got married (in '01). And back then I did not think that was possible.
18. As a husband, I continue to make some of the same mistakes over and over. Will I learn?
19. I see a lot of myself in my kids. Some good and some bad. I need to be mindful of those actions/attitudes I want to model for them.
20. I have passed on to my boys an ability to live through pain and disappointment - they are Cubs fans.
21. I love to capture "life moments" with my camera. I'm hoping that I don't mess up my kids by taking their picture all the time.
22. I am married to the most wonderful woman in the world.

lessons I've learned:
23. After 7 years in youth ministry, I still love it.
24. Being a father has changed the way I minister to students, at least on some level.
25. As my family grows, I have had to adjust how I do ministry. Especially as I do not get to minister alongside my wife as much as I used to.
26. People tend to respect you when you are older (for no other reason than you are older).
27. Be wise with your money when you first get married, even if it is just the two of you and you both are working. I am thankful for the financial decisions we made at the beginning of our marriage, they have truly affected our financial situation today.
28. I have a lot to learn from other people and if I ignore the advice I will only hurt myself.
29. I believe humility is just as important in my life today as it was when I was a young punk. ("young punk" - if that doesn't make me sound old I don't know what will)
30. No matter what my age, I need to trust and rely on God.
31. God is always faithful. I have learned this lesson in some big ways. No matter how big the negative situation seems, God has (and is) always been bigger and able to bring me through.

I could not stop at 30, it just seemed too cheesy to me.

I hoping that I can learn a whole bunch more over the next 30 years.

Prayer for my daughter

This morning at 8:30am, my daughter is going in for hernia surgery. She is only 8 weeks old and weighs 8lbs. I would appreciate your prayers for her during this surgery. Thank you.

*updated*
The surgery went well and she is recovering well.

Photo Friday: Don't laugh daddy dressed me!

A new onesie I got recently for my new daughter. I thought it appropriate, though I wish that it would have been done in strange colors or actually looked bad. I'm thinking one long sleeve and one short, or part of it purple. (It doesn't really look that bad)

Reflections on: strengths & weaknesses

The other day I asked Nathan, my 4 years old son, what he thought my strengths and weaknesses were. He couldn't think of any weaknesses. His two main strengths were that I could reach tall things and I put batteries in toys.

I'm hoping to add those answers to my response next time someone asks me what my weaknesses or strengths are.

My son's answers did teach one valuable lesson about being a dad. There are certain things that stick out in a child's mind as being very important. Nathan didn't say I was good at providing for my family. He didn't say I was a good cook. He didn't say I was good at handling our budget. He didn't say I take good care of the cars or the yard. He said I was good at being tall and replacing batteries. Now, all of the other things are very important and I need to do them. But I can't neglect the importance of being there for my son.

As a dad, your kids need you to pay the bills, bring in an income, take care of the yard and get them clothes and such. But those are not the moments they will remember. They need more.

Your kids need you to:

• get down on the floor and play.
  
• fix their toys when they break.
• hold them when they are hurt.
• listen to their stories (even if its the 10th time you've heard it).
• pick them up.
• laugh at their bad jokes.
• smile when you see them.
• be patient with them.
• love them unconditionally.

Have you done those things with your kids lately?
What would you child(ren) say your strengths are?
What do you want them to say if asked?