a bike ride and a lesson on trust

I went on a bike ride with my oldest son (4 yo) the other day. It was just him and I. We started out the same way we usually go, but at our first turn I asked him if he wanted to go right instead of left. He thought that would be good, so we went right. It was a fun ride with him, and he was doing great. He was doing most of the peddling himself, I only helped push him a few times.

As we made our next turn, Nathan was telling me that he was scared to ride down this street because it had a rather big hill. He does not like hills very much on his bike, which I understand completely. I was trying to reassure him that I was going to be there with him the whole time and I would stop his bike if I needed to. As we continued to ride closer to the hill, he started to get anxious about what was going to happen. I started to remind him that I was going to be there the whole time with him, when he interrupted me and said something that completely shocked me (and made me start to cry).

He said, "Dad, I know you are watching over me and you'll protect me, but I'm still scared."

He had just stated to me the same feelings I have been having toward God lately. My son's words were honest and real. He has heard me tell him over and over that I'm going to be there for him. He has heard me tell him that he can trust me. And over and over, I have been there
for him. I have picked him up when he's fallen or caught him before he did. Yet, as he is growing up and learning to do more things independently he still has fears. He is experiencing life in new and unfamiliar ways and knowing I'll be there for him helps, but it does not take away his fear.

I loved the honesty with which he uttered the sentence. It was not something he had practiced. It was not something he had even thought about. It was an honest response to his dad, in a particular situation he found himself in. I sometimes wish I was that honest with God.

I believe that sentence is the very sentence I need to be saying to God every day. Right now, my life is rather unpredictable. I do not know what tomorrow will bring. I do not know how things will work out financially. I do not know when I'll get that phone call I've been waiting for. But there is one thing I do know for sure - God is faithful.

God, I know You are watching over me and will protect me, but I'm still scared.


(even as I type this post I am tearing up)