Reflections on: Spring

I love Spring. It is supposed to mean that winter is over and warm weather is on its way. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about Spring and here are those thoughts (in a somewhat orderly fashion).


Reflections on: Spring

1. Baseball is upon us. Go Cubbies - this is the year.
   
2. Only in Spring can it be 70 one day and 40, with snow, the next
3. I really like the warmer weather.
4. Spring means Easter is upon us.
5. Spring signifies "new life"
6. More time outside with the kids.
7. It means the end to the current TV season.
   
8. Unfortunately this does not apply to "reality TV".
9. While cleaning up around the house, you tend to find treasures you forgot you owned.
10. Time to go shopping at yard sales. :)
    

Reflections on: 999 posts (or Post #1000: a retrospective)

This is my 1000th post, and it took me a long time (compared to some bloggers I know) to get to this point. It has taken me a little less than 4 years to get here (May 26, 2005 was the first post). It took me more than 2 years to get to post #500 (Sept. 10, 2007). If you want to see some highlights from the first 499 posts, you will want to check out #500.

A lot has changed since that post; family changes, ministry changes, and changes to this blog. I know that 1000 is just a number, but it feels strange to have posted that many things to this blog. I know some of them were silly, some were time sensitive, some still make me laugh or cry and some should probably have never seen the light of day. But its all part of the journey and I am glad others have joined me as I reflect on what it means to be a youth minister, father, husband, and Christian.

Some of the most visited posts:
1. some quick thoughts on football's overhead camera - almost 1 1/2 years old and still gets a good flow of traffic
2. warning labels on the Sesame Street DVDs - I still want to get these DVDs
3. discovery of part of Nehemiah's wall - check the story out if you haven't already
4. skit of Lifehouse's song, Everything - is there anyone who hasn't seen this yet?
5. Christian alternatives to Facebook - A LOT of people looking for some alternative
6. lessons to learn from teenagers enjoyment of fast food - I still wonder why fast food is so popular
7. 5 qualities I want in a President - applies to other areas of leadership, too
8. youth pastors in a negative light - some thoughts on youth ministry integrity
9. my tweetdeck review - it is a great app. to use with Twitter


Posts you might find useful/informative:
1. 2 customer feedback situations and your ministry
2. a few thoughts on starting a youth worker network - I might finish this series sometime :)
3. a quote by Stalin & evangelism - used this quote the other day with middle schoolers
4. a restickable glue stick - every youth worker needs one of these
5. open source living - a collection of open source software
6. how to make an invisible bookshelf - a cool addition to your office or youth room
7. leaving a ministry - thoughts on leaving a ministry
8. 25 White Elephant Gift ideas - can you ever have enough ideas?
9. 5 ways to use the Super Bowl in your ministry - it is the biggest TV event of the year, after all


My personal favorites:
1. SNL skit on money management - its so simple, yet a majority of Americans can't do it
2. a 3 year old & money - thoughts on something that happened with my son at the store
3. 3 reasons to read a blog - not many other reasons to read a blog, in my opinion
4. signs of a good youth ministry blog - what does it take for a youth ministry blog to be useful? (a follow-up series of evaluating several blogs will be coming in the next few months)
5. 10 ways to appreciate youth workers - we can all use a little appreciation, can't we?
6. a lesson on trust - my son taught me an important lesson on trust

Going back through some of these posts reminds me what ministry is about - following God where He leads you. It can be a lot of fun and it can be a lot of heartache. In the end, I would not trade any of it. God leads where He wants you to go and He puts you in situations that you need to be in.

May the next 1000 posts encourage, entertain, teach, challenge and cause you to think (as they do the same for me).

Reflections on: Christmas vacation

This trip home has been different than those of the past. Maybe it has something to do with the 3 kids, or maybe its that I'm getting older. I bet its a combination of these two, plus many other factors. This year has been the first time in 7 years that we've been with our extended families on Christmas. Our first Christmas as a married couple we were in GA and did not go home due to my church responsibilities. That year, we traveled home for Christmas in January. We kept that tradition up for the next six years (and depending on where I end up in ministry we will probably do it again in the future).

But this year, we were able to travel to see family on Christmas. We spent Christmas Eve with my side of the family, at my grandpa's. This has been the celebration day for my family for as long as I remember. It was so great to be there with a lot of my family. Then on Christmas, we drove up to be with Amy's family for Christmas night. It was the first time I remember driving on Christmas day, a lot more people than I thought there would be. Another fun night with family.

Here are some of my reflections on this Christmas trip:

1. Family & friends mean more than gifts. Gifts are great, but I would much rather spend time with people I love and not get a gift from them. The gifts stop working or you lose interest, but the people need to be cherished.

2. Travel with 3 kids is exponentially different than 2 kids. It can be stressful to travel with 2 kids, but adding the 3rd changes everything. It becomes so much more difficult to get everyone to travel in the same sequence, so to speak. Trips that should take 4 hours, can take at least 5 hours. Make sure to enjoy ever moment, though.

3. Always leave room in your vehicle for the return trip. On a Christmas trip, with little kids, you will most likely return home with more stuff than you left with.

4. Busy schedule -> stress -> miscommunication. Vacations can bring out the worst opportunities to stay connected to your spouse. If you do not take the time to talk with your spouse, then you won't be given that time.

5. Talking with your family is extra important on vacations. See #4. When you are with your family (the extended kind) do not just sit around and watch TV. Take the time to talk about topics that are important, talk about faith, talk about your family history, talk about parenting. You do not get these opportunities very often, so take advantage of them.

6. A lot can happen in a year. Since last Christmas a lot has happened in my life, and being home reminded me of just how much. Last year on Dec. 28th, my grandma passed away. In April, I started looking for a new ministry. In May, I stopped ministering at my church. In July, my first daughter (third child) was born. In September, she had hernia surgery. In October I turned 30. Over the last 7 months, I have been constantly amazed at how God provides for and takes care of my family. I can't wait to see what next year holds.

7. All good vacations come to an end. No matter how good a vacation you have, it has to end. You have to return to your daily routine. You have to get back to work. Hopefully, for those working in churches, this is not a bad thing. If you are passionate about what you do for a living, then you will be just as excited to return to that work.

bonus: some guy at church had a dog with him. It was weird to see him walk out with his dog in his arms. On the bright side, the dog never made a sound during the entire service.


What was your favorite moment from your Christmas vacation?

Reflections on: turning 30

Today I turn 30. As I transition from being a young 20-something into a wiser 30-something, I have been looking back over my first 30 years and reflecting. I thought I might share some of those reflections with you...

Random Reflections:
1. I'm actually having trouble remembering what life was like when I turned 20.
2. When I was in high school, I thought it would take forever to get to 30.
3. I have friends who I've known over half my life. Wow!
4. I wonder what my parents are feeling, as their baby turns 30.
5. I still wear some of the same shirts I did when I was in college. (that was tough to admit)
6. How fast can my hair really recede?
7. I still have my baseball card collection from childhood and I haven't looked at any of them in years.
8. There are some special memories that only grow stronger with time.
9. You know you are getting old when you start using phrases like, "When I was in high school..."
10. When I was in high school, I only used the computer for playing games and writing papers.
11. When I was in high school, none of my friends had email or a cell phone.

Reflections on Parenting/Marriage:
12. When I was in high school, I started dating my wife. (never have figured out why she went out with me in the first place)
13. I have 3 kids already - Wow!
14. Though I do not feel much smarter this year, I like to think I'm a little wiser.
15. I have a huge responsibility to teach my boys to be godly men.
16. My daughter needs a dad who is a great example of a godly man, too.
17. I love my wife more today than when we got married (in '01). And back then I did not think that was possible.
18. As a husband, I continue to make some of the same mistakes over and over. Will I learn?
19. I see a lot of myself in my kids. Some good and some bad. I need to be mindful of those actions/attitudes I want to model for them.
20. I have passed on to my boys an ability to live through pain and disappointment - they are Cubs fans.
21. I love to capture "life moments" with my camera. I'm hoping that I don't mess up my kids by taking their picture all the time.
22. I am married to the most wonderful woman in the world.

lessons I've learned:
23. After 7 years in youth ministry, I still love it.
24. Being a father has changed the way I minister to students, at least on some level.
25. As my family grows, I have had to adjust how I do ministry. Especially as I do not get to minister alongside my wife as much as I used to.
26. People tend to respect you when you are older (for no other reason than you are older).
27. Be wise with your money when you first get married, even if it is just the two of you and you both are working. I am thankful for the financial decisions we made at the beginning of our marriage, they have truly affected our financial situation today.
28. I have a lot to learn from other people and if I ignore the advice I will only hurt myself.
29. I believe humility is just as important in my life today as it was when I was a young punk. ("young punk" - if that doesn't make me sound old I don't know what will)
30. No matter what my age, I need to trust and rely on God.
31. God is always faithful. I have learned this lesson in some big ways. No matter how big the negative situation seems, God has (and is) always been bigger and able to bring me through.

I could not stop at 30, it just seemed too cheesy to me.

I hoping that I can learn a whole bunch more over the next 30 years.

Reflections on: Visiting a church

On Sunday, the family went to visit a church and listen to one of my friends from high school preach. (He's a music minister, so this does not happen often) I came away with a few thoughts on visiting and a few observations from the service itself.

Visitor Observations:
1. Friendly faces greeting you at the door can make all the difference.
2. There is a big difference between someone greeting you and someone "smothering" you.
3. As a visitor, I appreciate a few simple questions or statements - when the person is genuine.
4. Signs showing me what is where are very helpful and appreciated.
5. Knowing how much time I have before the service starts is great (via a countdown on screens in the hallway).
6. As a visiting parent, I like being able to go back with my child(ren) and see their room.
7. Knowing my children are safe is important. Thanks for making safety a priority.
8. I like to know I'm not an inconvenience when I ask questions.

Observations on the service:
1. Standing during the songs can be contagious. For some people, all they need is to not be the first one to stand.
2. Watching someone use sign language during a worship song is simply beautiful. There really isn't anything else like it.
3. Even if you have already had one service, there is still potential for a mistake in the second service.
4. Mistakes during the service do not equal a bad service.
5. It was nice to worship with Amy for a good bit of the service (something we haven't been able to do much over the last month or so).

I am really glad we decided to make the trip to visit. It was a blessing to be a part of the service on this particular Sunday.

Reflections on: strengths & weaknesses

The other day I asked Nathan, my 4 years old son, what he thought my strengths and weaknesses were. He couldn't think of any weaknesses. His two main strengths were that I could reach tall things and I put batteries in toys.

I'm hoping to add those answers to my response next time someone asks me what my weaknesses or strengths are.

My son's answers did teach one valuable lesson about being a dad. There are certain things that stick out in a child's mind as being very important. Nathan didn't say I was good at providing for my family. He didn't say I was a good cook. He didn't say I was good at handling our budget. He didn't say I take good care of the cars or the yard. He said I was good at being tall and replacing batteries. Now, all of the other things are very important and I need to do them. But I can't neglect the importance of being there for my son.

As a dad, your kids need you to pay the bills, bring in an income, take care of the yard and get them clothes and such. But those are not the moments they will remember. They need more.

Your kids need you to:

• get down on the floor and play.
  
• fix their toys when they break.
• hold them when they are hurt.
• listen to their stories (even if its the 10th time you've heard it).
• pick them up.
• laugh at their bad jokes.
• smile when you see them.
• be patient with them.
• love them unconditionally.

Have you done those things with your kids lately?
What would you child(ren) say your strengths are?
What do you want them to say if asked?

Reflections on: backyard camping

Last night was a first for the family. We had a backyard campout with the boys. It was as close to a perfect evening as I've ever seen for a camping adventure (minus a few non-nature issues). The temp. was high 60's. There were few clouds, if any. The moon was full.

In the afternoon the tent got set up, which helped make it a little easier. After dinner we got all of the boys' things together and our sleeping bags and set up inside the tent. We took out a few of their games to play and had a snack in the tent. It was pretty fun, and special, to do that as a family. After the games, we read our Bible stories and got ready for bed. (At this point, it was well past bedtime for them)

Amy and I tried playing some Boggle up on the deck until the boys fell asleep. But that didn't happen, because they wouldn't fall asleep. I think it was a bit too bright (with the full moon) outside for them to feel like it was bedtime. Plus, we do not live very far from the city ball fields. Last night one of the jr. high age games lasted until around 11:30pm. It is hard to fall asleep with the noise of a baseball game in the background.

Eventually we all fell asleep and woke up at 6:30 - thanks to the sunrise.

As a dad, it was a great night of fun, laughs and memories. Going camping in the backyard is the type of thing I want to never stop doing with my boys. It might be a lot of "work" to set up and get ready, but its worth every minute. Time with my boys is going to go by so quickly.

I'm not sure what things you do with your family (if you are a youth worker and have a family), but I hope you are doing things. Special things. Memory making things. Fun things. Silly things. Out of the normal things. Take some time out of your busy schedule and plan (or just do it spontaneously) to do some stuff just with your family.

The same applies to youth ministry. There are many things a youth worker has to do throughout the year. During the summer, one of those things is spend time with students. Do things that have one purpose - spending time with students. Spending time with students does not always have to be about teaching or lesson focused. Do some fun events. Hang out at the park. Go fishing. Play some ball. Sit and watch others play sports.

Reflections on: leaving a ministry

Leaving a ministry is part of being in ministry. Everyone who ministers will do it at least once in their ministry (there are a few who do not, but that is rare). Every exit is different. Every leaving is unique in its details. But there are a few similarities. At the end of your ministry, you will pack up, clean up, and haul multiple carloads of boxes, containers, shelves and other office furniture from your office to your house. You will probably do a lot of thinking about leaving your ministry.

What follows is some of my thoughts on leaving a ministry. Maybe they will encourage you in your ministry. Maybe they will make you laugh. Maybe they will give you the resolve to keep going. Maybe they will be the same thoughts you are having about your ministry. Whatever it is they are to you, I pray it is helpful.

Reflections on: leaving a ministry:

1. There is never a good time to leave. Regardless of what you might think or feel, it is never a good time to leave. When things are going well - you don't want to miss out on the joys and growth. when things are going bad - you feel like you are just running from something that is difficult.
   
2. There is a God time to leave. This is the "time" where God leads you to leave. It could be when things are going well (like Gerrard) or it could be when things are not going so well (like a youth minister I know who got forced out because the sr. minister wouldn't resign after moral failure). But when it comes to God time, you can't plan it. You don't know when it is coming until it gets there. Though you can't plan it, you need to be ready for it.
   
3. There is a difference between being a minister and doing ministry. One is the job title and one is a lifestyle. You can leave one, but you can't get away from the other.
   
4. Its hardest to leave the students. Now, don't misunderstand me on this one. Saying goodbye to the adults and parents is difficult. But, for me, saying goodbye to the students is even harder. On some level, the adults "understand" the process more and adjust more to the situation (either good or bad). But its trying to respond to those students who says things like ... "Have you thought about staying in the area?" "Why do you have to go?" "Don't forget to stay in contact." "What am I going to do without you around?" Leaving those students who have allowed you to enter their world is one of the toughest things I've ever had to do.
5. Awkwardness is normal. Most people do not know what to say. The other people can't really say what they are thinking (because they don't want to really hurt your feelings) or they just don't want to talk to you. Because of this, it is awkward to be there on Sunday after it is announced you are leaving. I think that even though you may feel, as the youth minister, you are the only person feeling awkward - you need to remember that others are feeling awkward, too.
6. You have to trust God. You may know where you are going next. You may be clueless, without any leads. No matter what you know, you have to trust God to take care of you. This trust might be financially, with your job, with your reputation or something else. Regardless of what happened (good or bad, right or wrong) God is bigger than the situation. God is bigger than your worries. God is bigger than your bills. God is bigger than everything. He will take care of you. It may not always be comfortable, but God will provide.
7. Integrity is crucial. When leaving a ministry, always act above reproach. Do not say hurtful or harsh words about others (even if it is the truth). Do not try to stir the pot. Maintain a level of integrity that brings glory and honor to God. Finish strong. Whether you will see anyone from that church again or not does not matter, you must continue to act in a Christlike manner.

Whatever your situation, I want to encourage you to leave well.

Reflections on: earthquakes

This morning, at 4:40am, I was awakened by an earthquake. And I live in southern IL. I've never experienced an earthquake before (I've lived in Cincy, OH, Augusta, GA and grew up in northern IN) At first we thought it was strong winds, but for once this week it wasn't windy. The longer it lasted, the more I was sure it was an earthquake. A few pictures got shaken up, some puzzles fell from our huge box pile of puzzles, and I just found out one of our picture frames fell and broke.

As I tried to go back to sleep, I was able to do a lot of thinking. First, I think an earthquake would be a great plot for a movie. :) Second, I wondered how anyone could miss an earthquake. How could people just not notice it. Third, I was thinking about all the earthquakes found in the Bible: Elijah (1 Kings 19.10-12), those guarding Jesus(Mt. 27.54), at Jesus' resurrection (Mt. 28.2), Paul & Silas in prison (Acts 16.25-27), a few in Revelation (6.12; 8.5; 11.13; 11.19; 16.18)

earthquakes connected to God:
Isa. 29.6


Here is the info on the earthquake. Here's a CNN article on the quake.

Reflections on: being "old"

Recently, after a jr. high small group I was caught off guard by this conversation...

teen #1 to teen #2 - Do you think Mike knows about Monty Python?
teen #2 response - Probably, but you can ask him.
teen #1 to me - Hey, Mike have you ever heard of Monty Python and the Holy Grail?
me - Do you know how old that movie is?
teen #1 - no
me - I bet I saw that movie before you were even born. What year were you born?
teen #1 - 1994
me - Yeah, I think I saw that before you were born.

me (afterthought) - does that make me old?

One moment you forget how many years there are between you and the students. The next moment you are reminded that there are plenty of years between you and the students. And I'm not even that old, just shy of 30. What will it be like in the next few years? Will the students remember the Smurfs? Will they know about baseball before there was a "central" division?
Will they know about the original Super Mario Bros.?

Have you had one of those "old moments" recently?

Reflections on: funerals

This past week, I attended two funerals in as many days. (there was another one that I was unable to attend this week, too) Before these two, the last funeral I was at was for my grandma a few months ago. With these funerals fresh in my mind, I have a few reflections I thought I would share.

Some reflections on funerals:

1. Words are difficult to come by.
2. You can tell a lot about a person's life at their funeral.
3. The loss of a loved one equals deep pain.
4. Even when you know your loved one is in a better place (Heaven), your joy for them is mixed with the pain of missing them.
5. Both funerals this week used Pr. 31 - I don't usually hear that passage at a funeral.
6. More comfort comes from God's Words than from anything a person can say.
7. Just being there is enough. One thing I experienced at my grandma's funeral was the power of presence (God's and those you love)
8. I don't remember much, if anything, of the message spoken at my grandma's funeral. And I'm ok with that.
9. Funerals, and the loss of a loved one, help remind us of the important things in life (God, family, friends)
10. As much as a funeral represents an end of a person's life on earth; it is much more a beginning of a life eternal.

Reflections on: winter weather

So this week was supposed to be super full and busy. Potentially there was something every night; with two games on Monday & Tuesday, small groups on Wednesday, Winter Jam concert on Thursday, 5th Quarter on Friday. It was going to be full, but it was going to be awesome!

So, I didn't go to the games on Monday/Tuesday because I was already going to be away from home 3 of the 5 evenings during the week. We needed some family time. So, those two days were good and the time spent together was much needed and helpful. (even though baby #3 is months away, this time with my 2 boys is going quickly)

Wednesday was full. Had an extended jr. high small group due to early dismissal.

Ah, then the winter weather hit today...

Tonight (Thursday) we were supposed to go to Winter Jam. But the bad weather started. Sleet, snow, ice, "wintry mix" and below freezing temps. So, we opted to be safe and not try to go.

Tomorrow (Friday) school is closed. This means that there will be no 5th Quarter. So there is another evening that is now open. Granted the weather may not be good, but it is still a major change in the planned week.

So, out of 5 nights of stuff we got 1.

This is why I don't like winter. It is so hard to plan. More accurately, it is so hard to predict the weather. Well, there will be other concerts and hopefully a rescheduling of 5th Quarter.

An even sadder thing is one of my youth ministry team leaders took off work tonight and tomorrow to make sure he could be at both events and neither one is going to happen.

What stories do you have of the winter weather altering your ministry plans/events?

Reflections on: vacation

My reflections on vacation:

Craziest - Saw a moped rider yesterday. Not too uncommon, until you notice he is carrying crutches on his moped. Makes me wonder if the moped had anything to do with the crutches. Wish I could have gotten a picture - because just thinking about it makes me chuckle.

Unexpected Goodness - non scheduled family time is awesome!

Responsibility - is van shopping on vacation still vacation?

Good Times - friendships grow deeper as the two friends mature. Having a longtime (lifelong) friend makes reconnecting that much easier.

Close, but not close enough - almost got to eat at Chipotle. But they were not open yet, just taking applications. My first impression of the building was that of a used car dealership. Its just a big metal box. Maybe next time I get back "home" I'll get to stop by and try it. (interesting sidenote, the new Chipotle is in the old location of one of my favorite seafood places - Long John Silver's)

Take away thought - you've got to make every minute count or you'll regret it afterward.

Non-negotiable - Spending some quality & quantity time with the family is much better than going to a fancy resort.